BeautyandtheButch Read online

  “You’re not my first closeted lover, you know?” Lindsey divulged.

  One of Ella’s tawny eyebrows lifted.

  Lindsey rolled onto her back and clapped her hand over her forehead. She should never have brought Reagan into this. But now that she had… “Well, she really wasn’t my lover but not because I didn’t want her to be. She was like you. There was no way she could have come out. We were still in school and she got teased and bullied for being my…friend.”

  “Kids can be cruel.”

  Lindsey cut her gaze at Ella. “Fucking people can be cruel.”

  After a poignant silence, Lindsey whispered, “It about killed me.”

  Old anger and the need to forget grabbed hold of her and twisted into desire. She pushed herself up and straddled Ella’s face, planting her pussy over that gorgeous, gorgeous mouth.

  Lindsey rode her, unable to keep from grinding too hard, from practically smothering her lover. Ella’s lips and tongue worked magic, knowing just where to suck and lick, how hard and how fast—how slow. And when Lindsey’s orgasm crashed over her like a rogue wave, the sensation dragged her downward, gasping for breath as she swirled in an eddy of lust and emotion.

  * * * * *

  Ella watched Lindsey sleeping. The digital clock flashed 3:00. Ella brushed her thumb over her lover’s short hair. After sex, she should have gone back to her room. She needed her sleep. Crowning would take place tonight and she needed to look her best.

  But she hadn’t been able to leave. She hadn’t wanted to give up the warmth and comfort of Lindsey’s arms.

  Ella had thought she could explore sex with a woman and go on to live the life her family expected of her. But after these few nights, she was beginning to realize that if she wanted happiness, she couldn’t go on living a lie.

  It frightened her to imagine Lindsey being gone from her life. Far more than it frightened Ella to envision what it would be like to come out.

  She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. This was silly. She hardly knew Lindsey—and yet she felt as if she’d known her all their lives. Was a potential relationship worth risking everything?

  A tear seeped out of the corner of Ella’s eye and rolled down into her hair. This wasn’t about Lindsey.

  This was about being true to herself.

  After awakening to her sexuality, she couldn’t conceive of either a life alone or marrying and having children with a man. She wanted love. She wanted passion.

  And if her family loved her, they’d just have to accept her as she was.

  Lindsey moaned in her sleep and scooted closer. Her hand found Ella’s under the sheets and their fingers interlaced.

  Ella released the breath she’d been holding, feeling years of tension melt out of her body. After the pageant, she’d tell Lindsey. Because even if Lindsey had no intention of exploring any sort of future relationship, she could at least offer advice on coming out.

  Relaxed, Ella finally drifted off to sleep.

  * * * * *

  Lindsey scanned the breakfast area for Ella, noticing how a decided hush fell over the room as she entered. Making eye contact with several curious contestants, Lindsey walked uneasily to the coffee bar.

  What the hell? Was her fly unzipped? Had she grown a third eye?

  She tipped the coffeepot and poured the aromatic liquid into her cup.

  Marquita reached across her and snagged a creamer. “Did you see Facebook?”

  “Facebook? Hell no. Why?” Lindsey asked.

  Marquita’s red-glossed lips stretched into a straight line. “There’s a picture of you that’s making the rounds.”

  Lindsey’s eyebrows shot up. “Of me?” She couldn’t imagine which picture would cause such crazy stares but already unease began gnawing at her gut. It had to do with Ella. There was no other explanation.

  “It’s of you and Ella. In the hotel hall. Kissing.” Marquita’s statement was devoid of judgment, but still stabbed Lindsey right in the heart.

  Lindsey’s lips parted as realization shot to her toes. She swallowed thickly. The memory of pinning Ella against the wall and kissing her the night before plagued Lindsey. Guilt surged up hard and she would have been sick if she’d had anything in her stomach.

  Her gaze swept over the faces again. Jealous, spiteful bitches. Damn. How could anyone be so cruel?

  Poor Ella…

  She’ll hate me. Just like Reagan.

  “There’s Ella. Want to head her off in the other direction? I don’t want this bunch of harpies to see her upset,” Marquita whispered.

  “Good morning, Ella!” Chelsea chirped smugly.

  Lindsey’s eyes narrowed. The look on Chelsea’s face erased any doubt as to who the culprit was.

  “Take mine,” Marquita said, pushing her cup of coffee into Lindsey’s hand.

  “Uh…morning,” Ella said, obviously confused as to why everyone was staring.

  Lindsey forced her feet to move. She shot Chelsea the stink-eye and rushed across the room to Ella.

  “Come on,” Lindsey said, handing Ella one of the cups of coffee. “I need to talk to you.”

  “But—”

  “It’s serious.” She swallowed the bile rising into her throat.

  Ella’s brow knitted, but Lindsey took her elbow and guided her back out of the breakfast area.

  Gut-sick terror swamped Lindsey. “I don’t know who did this, but apparently—”

  “Ah, Miss Northington,” Elizabeth said as she strode purposefully across the hotel lobby. The look on the pageant director’s face indicated she’d seen the photo. Her disapproving gaze flicked to Lindsey’s and then back to Ella. “We’d like to talk to you immediately about a picture that’s being circulated on several social media websites.”

  Ella’s lips parted. “Picture?”

  Lindsey’s heart plummeted to her toes. She’d wanted to be the one to tell Ella. After all, Lindsey felt responsible.

  “I don’t understand,” Ella said.

  “She hasn’t seen it,” Lindsey mumbled.

  Elizabeth’s lips pursed into a grim line. “There’s an image of the two of you that has unfortunately been posted on the internet.”

  “The two of—” Realization seized Ella’s features.

  “I want you to know that the representatives of Miss Georgia National are not making a decision based on the fact of your…ahem…sexual preferences. We would have decided this had the photo been of you and a male in a sexually comprising position, or any other behavior deemed inappropriate.”

  No…

  Lindsey began to shake.

  “I don’t understand,” Ella said. “What are you telling me? Am I…am I dis-disqualified?”

  Elizabeth’s shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “Why don’t we step into the meeting room and discuss this…”

  “No,” Ella said adamantly. “Am I or am I not disqualified?”

  “The code of conduct that you signed affirms that you wouldn’t engage in any sort of behavior which might cast the pageant in a disparaging light. I’m sorry, Ella.” Elizabeth looked at Lindsey. “And like I said, this has nothing to do with the fact that you’re…lesbians.”

  Tears streamed down Ella’s cheeks. Lindsey ached to take her hand, to put her arm around her lover’s shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said. “But rules are rules.”

  Ella stood frozen and trembled for several seconds before she ran toward the bank of elevators.

  “Ella, wait,” Lindsey called.

  “No!” Ella cried and raced into an opening elevator. She whirled and punched the button so that the door closed before Lindsey could get to it.

  Lindsey raked her fingers through her cropped hair. “Damn.”

  Her phone buzzed at her side. She pulled it off the clip and looked down to discover the executive producer Nigel Simmons’ name flashing on the screen. Bracing herself, she thumbed the answer button. “Hi, Nigel.”

  “Lindsey! This is fanta
stic!” He sounded ecstatic. “The footage you sent us yesterday is a perfect complement to this scandal. Ratings are going to soar!”

  “What do you mean?” The footage Maurice had sent in to be pre-edited was bland, run-of-the-mill stuff. Nothing worth even a sound bite yet.

  “Don’t play coy, Lindz.” His British accent made him sound positively diabolical. “The kiss.”

  Her mind raced. What kiss?

  “Bravo, darling. Well done!” he bragged. “That kiss in the back of the van during the home visit was brilliant.”

  Kiss in the back of the van… But already yesterday’s events replayed themselves in vibrant Technicolor in Lindsey’s head. Ella had kissed her just after she’d loaded the van.

  Insight struck. Lindsey felt her stomach twisting. Had she forgotten to turn off the camera? Had that kiss been caught on film and sent to the editing room?

  “Oh, Nigel, no,” Lindsey said. Heat flamed up her spine. Her palms grew damp. “No. That wasn’t supposed to have been filmed. You can’t put that in the show.”

  “Can’t?” he asked. “Darling, are you mad? This is the clip that’s going to make you a top producer in the industry. Don’t accept any offers yet. I’m negotiating with the top brass to get you a substantial raise at TLN. But between you and me, I don’t think we can match what Global Now can pay.”

  These were the words she’d longed to hear. But not like this. Not at Ella’s expense.

  Oh God. Ella.

  If that kiss aired, Ella would think Lindsey had betrayed her.

  “Nigel, I don’t care what Global Now says. You can’t air that clip.”

  “Can and shall,” he said.

  “I’m not part of the show. I don’t want to be on it.”

  A stunned silence stretched. Lindsey refused to speak. She couldn’t have if she’d wanted to. Her breath seemed trapped in her throat.

  “Do you mean to tell me that you caught that kiss on camera by accident?” Nigel asked. His voice echoed a mix of shock and disappointment.

  Lindsey knew her career hung on what she said next. But she couldn’t betray Ella. Not for anything. “Completely by accident.”

  She heard Nigel huff a deep breath. “You signed a waiver when you took this show. I’m afraid TLN has every legal right to include the clip.”

  She blinked back hot tears. “You don’t understand…”

  “Oh but I do. And I’m sorry if you’ve developed feelings for the girl, but because she’s a congressman’s daughter, this is certain to make a ton of money for the network. There’ll be a firestorm,” he said frankly. “And Lindz, as your friend, I’d be remiss if I didn’t reiterate that it would behoove you to behave as if you intended this if you expect to climb the ladder in this business. Global Now isn’t going to want a producer without balls.”

  Lindsey grappled for the words to refuse him while at the same time every part of her being longed for that position with Global Now.

  “You knew when you signed on that the reality show business was no place for the tenderhearted. As your executive producer, I’m ordering you to mic that girl up and film the meltdown,” Nigel said. “And see if you can get a second interview with her father.”

  * * * * *

  Ella glanced at her cell phone and winced as HOME CALLING flashed on the screen. She couldn’t face talking to her parents right now. Not over the phone.

  A stagnant silence followed after the phone stopped ringing. Ella expected it to immediately ring again, but instead the voice mail button lit up. She couldn’t ignore them forever. She snatched the phone and hit Play.

  “Ella.” Her father sounded tense and stressed. “I’ve spoken to my publicist. Whatever you do, don’t speak to the media and for God’s sakes don’t be seen or photographed with that…that woman again. Get yourself home and we’ll begin damage control from here but you can kiss your teaching job goodbye. I’ve already gotten a call from the superintendent.”

  Ella squeezed her eyes shut. Being kicked out of the pageant was humiliating enough, but to embarrass her father or to hurt his position in Congress…

  And yet a bigger part of her than she wanted to give credence to was angry that her relationship with another woman served as the cause of this turmoil. Why did a person’s sexual orientation have to be considered scandalous?

  The rebellious side of her wanted to throw caution out the window and proudly declare herself a lesbian and have it be over with. The only thing keeping her from it now was her dad.

  Without caring, she raked her cosmetics off the bathroom counter and into her makeup bag. She wanted away from here.

  The phone vibrated again and she looked down expecting to discover a return call from home. Instead LINDSEY MITCHELL flashed across the screen. Ella’s heart leaped in her chest. She reached for her cell but then stopped. Lindsey wouldn’t have betrayed her.

  Would she?

  Fear and doubt gnawed at Ella’s insides. Still, she wasn’t stupid. Outing her would mean a ratings boost for the show Lindsey produced. Ella didn’t want to believe the woman who’d so quickly captured her interest would mislead her but in truth she really didn’t know Lindsey.

  Confused and heartsore, Ella punched the ignore button and continued packing. She didn’t want to see anyone. Not even Lindsey.

  Three soft raps came from the door.

  Ella whirled and her gaze fixed on the peephole. She wished she could see through it from where she stood. She gulped. At first her pulse rioted at the thought of Lindsey coming to comfort her but harsh reality came crashing down hard around her.

  What if the media was outside, waiting to snap yet another picture of Lindsey coming and going from her room?

  “Who is it?” she called.

  “Ella?” an unfamiliar voice said. “I’m Natalie Griggs with the Femme Coalition.”

  Ella had heard of the lesbian rights group on the news. What could they possibly want other than to make her their cause of the day? She stepped closer to the door. “I’m sorry, Ms. Griggs. I’m not up to seeing anyone right now.”

  “I realize that,” the woman said, “but I have a check for your cause. Triple the amount you would have received for your charity had you gone on to win the pageant.”

  At that, Ella’s heart skipped a beat. “A check?”

  “Please open the door. I’m here alone. I understand your need for privacy. I just want you to know that you have friends and supporters.”

  Ella reached for the doorknob.

  * * * * *

  “Ella, pick up,” Lindsey said, pacing in her circles in her room. When the call went to voice mail, Lindsey growled in frustration and tossed the phone on the bed next to her duffle bag.

  She wanted to cry, to pull her hair, to stamp her feet like a kid throwing a tantrum. This was all her fault. If only…

  “Dammit,” she said through clenched teeth.

  A loud knock sounded on the door and she yanked it open, hoping beyond hope Ella was on the other side.

  It was Maurice. “I got a call from Nigel.”

  “Yeah, well…” She raked her fingers through her hair.

  Maurice eyed her bag. “You cuttin’ out?”

  Lindsey shrugged. “Yeah.”

  Maurice’s eyes widened. “You can’t. Nigel practically ordered me to film the Northington girl.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Lindsey said. “I’m not going to do it. I quit.”

  “Quit?”

  Lindsey nodded.

  Maurice heaved a heavy-hearted sigh.

  “I’m not going to do that to her,” Lindsey reiterated.

  “Shit, Lindsey. You quit?” he asked again.

  “Hell yes,” Lindsey said as anger broiled to the surface once more. “I just told Nigel I wasn’t going to film her. I stopped short of telling him where he could stick his boom mic. I guess that blew my chances for that job with Global Now.”

  “A little bit.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to do it either, but I can’t quit.”<
br />
  “Then I guess you better collect all the equipment.” Lindsey gestured to the cameras she’d neatly bagged and lined up on the desk.

  He took a deep breath and blew it out in a loud huff before he strode in and collected two of the cameras. “Damn. Want me to tell her anything for you?”

  Lindsey debated but the idea of having Maurice apologize for her made her seem like a cold-hearted coward. “No. But do you mind holding off for a while? I need to talk to her first.”

  “No problem.”

  She looked into his eyes for a moment. She was going to miss working with him. She playfully punched his meaty arm. “For a dude you’re all right.”

  He chuckled.

  “I’m going to miss you, you big lug,” she said and blinked back a tear.

  “Get on out of here,” he teased. “Before you make me squall like a baby.”

  She gave him a little nod, snatched her phone and then darted out the door, heading up to Ella’s room.

  As soon as she stepped off the elevator, her heart hurtled into her Chuck Taylor high-tops. The maid’s cart was parked outside the open door. Would Ella really have gone without talking to her first?

  Lindsey stopped at the door.

  “Si?” the maid asked, stepping out with a bundle of white sheets.

  “Is the woman who was staying here… Did she…did she leave already?”

  The maid shrugged. “They told me the room was ready to clean,” she said in heavily accented English.

  Her phone buzzed in her pocket. “Thanks,” she said quickly to the maid as she retrieved her phone. Be Ella. Be in the lobby or in my room.

  But Lindsey didn’t recognize the number. She answered the call. “Lindsey Mitchell.”

  “Miss Mitchell, this is Arthur Schuessler, Joe Northington’s publicist.”

  Lindsey’s blood turned to ice. She knew what she was about to hear. “Yes?”

  “On behalf of the Northington family, I’m asking you to refrain from contacting Ella, from calling her, and especially from being seen and photographed with her. I’ll even go so far as to ask you not to speak to the press regarding this issue as the Northingtons would prefer to handle the matter privately.”